Poems

Problems. 2/15/95

Yeah, I’ve always had more than a few

every time I discard one I get dealt two more that are new

Society tells me they’re mine alone to solve

Since after all, it’s I they seem to revolve

For some that’s true, it’s certainly been the case

Others come from nowhere, from some unseen place

Because you see, sometimes I’ve taken steps improving myself

something swoops in, moving the prize to the next higher shelf

So I ask; What will I do once at the end of my rope?

When I’ve lost everything, including my last shred of hope?

Society will want me to fold this hand I can’t win.

Well, to hell with them all, I’ll be going all in.

Because I’ll refuse to live forever with dreams locked in a cage

I’ll have no choice but to come out swinging with fists curled with rage

But until then, by the rules, I’ll continue to play

Hoping I never actually see the day

Where my hope is lost and replaced with tears at night

Because I’m built to last, you can say I’m built for a fight

I know this because this society has made me evolve

I’ve learned to survive problems — creating more I can’t solve

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College. 9/24/95

I got to campus thinking things would for me change

That friendships and dates would magically themselves all arrange

But there’s something wrong with every boy in the city

They can’t get past that I’m deeper then a face they claim is pretty

I know there’s someone out there as lost and alone as me

A person out there too trying to earn themselves a degree

It will be hard to not be instantly clingy or overly attached

Too much too soon and I’ll again be dispatched

It’s strange how my self-perception can fluctuate day to day

Yesterday I felt attractive and strong and now I just want to go away

I hope that tomorrow everything aligns altogether in a dance

To meet a friend, anyone, all I need is a fair chance

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